Menano

This morning on the way to work, I got a text from my husband.
He:  Where is Menano?
Me:  He's gone.  He defiled Raggedy Ann.
He:  Don't even joke about that.
Me:  I'm not joking.  He's gone.
He:  He better not be.  The garbage truck is out front right now and if you got rid of him...  Anyway, Raggedy Ann is a slut.
Me: She is NOT! And if you ever want to see Menano alive again, you'll watch your mouth.
I was far too disturbed to reply.  Menano is my husband's childhood Teddy Bear.  He has been perched on a  bookshelf in our bedroom for the 11 years we have enjoyed wedded bliss.  His name, Menano, comes from the boyhood refrain spoken by my husband when as a child he was asked, "Who did this?" by an adult. "Me-na-no, Daddy."

I noticed Menano was missing about a week ago.  I knew he was up to something.  He doesn't move often, but when he does, he's up to no good.  Sure enough, I found him, sitting on Raggedy Ann's face in a very suggestive position, in the guest room.  (Thank heavens my parents didn't show up... my Mama made that Raggedy Ann with her own two hands.)

Anyway, this time Menano went too far.  So I gave Raggedy Ann his place on the bedroom shelf, and put Menano in a drawer in the guest room, with the Gideon's Bible I stole from a hotel room several years ago.  Maybe some of that religion would take if he sat in a dark drawer with that book for a while.
My husband called me at work later in the day. "Where is Menano?" he begged.  I replied, "He is being punished.  When he decides to behave, he can come back out."

I gave in after a while and called him back and told him Menano was in a drawer. When I got home, Menano was out, but he was reading that Bible.  Raggedy Ann reigns supreme.